self protection vs. coddling the impaired

It was my credit or my desire to not help him. I chose my credit in part because I can't not help him. He hadn't paid his bills (par the norm) but his power bill (which averaged about $50 a month when the girls and I were living there) had built up after months of not paying to over $650! They were going to shut off his power. If he really is as depressed as his family purports then having his power turned off, thereby denying him access to his computers and Everquest could very well be the last straw as it is his only contact with others. I paid the bill out of our joint account (which contains only his pay). Then I got a call about our cell phone bill. I need my cell phone. As an epileptic with two little kids it would be irresponsible of me to take them out by myself without the means to call for help if necessary. Also on a more selfish note, I want a phone of my own where my friends can leave messages that don't have to be filtered thru or remembered by my parents. His cell phone is his main phone. It is a requirement of his job that he have one and he recieves an allowance in his pay to guarantee he has it. They were going to shut them off because the bill (almost $400) hadn't been paid since Sept. I paid it as well out of the same account.
It frustrates me that I still have to take care of him but in that part of me I seem to have no control over I still care for him. It angers me that I have to moniter all the bills because even though he said that they were his responsibility and I shouldn't worry about it, my credit is being damaged by his inability to function right now. I can't afford to have bad credit. If I am ever going to be able to be out on my own I'm going to need excellent credit. Not to have credit cards but because I want to own my own home. This of course seems so far away.
I bought my first brand new car two years ago. I bought it all by myself, no help with down payment or loan approval. I was so proud. Two weeks later I lost my driver's license when I began having seizures. I felt robbed.
8 months ago, my husband and I made an offer on a house that I loved. They accepted our offer but then backed out when the finance guy he had chosed against my wishes ( I just had a bad feeling about the guy) started trying to tweak the proposal after it had been accepted. We lost the house and within the next two months I would be sitting at my parents the day after Memorial Day weekend wondering when my husband was going to get there to take us home. He didn't come, didn't call, and didn't answer the phone when I called. Finally one of my friends called. She had just called my home to talk with me and was told by my husband that I had left him and he didn't know where I was. All my calls, messages, pages, emails all asking where he had gone, why he hadn't picked us up yet. I don't get it. I feel like I get within arms reach of my dreams and then they disappear like a mirage.